Lyrics

In the garden
Something's in the garden

There's someone in the palace
That looks nothing like the queen
Too rounded in the shoulders
Too narrow at the knees
Did you not sleep well last night
Your Majesty?
Perhaps another mushroom omelette
Or a cup of tea?

A scandal in the royal palace
Mushrooms in a state of malice
Looking for another Alice

In the garden
Something's in the garden

The prince is in the stateroom
Repainting the Monets
In shades of white and crimson
In a psychotropic daze
Shall we close the curtains now
Your Majesty?
This sunlight is a nasty thing
Unfiltered through the trees

We're severing the ties that bind us
To everything that may remind us
Of loamy soil we've left behind us

In the garden
Something's in the garden

Fly Agaric and hysteric
Growing in the shade
Of conifers in London town
Disturbed by royal spades
This nasty queen's craving for
Sunlight all around
Has angered all my brethren
And we must stand our ground

Amanita Muscaria
Too lovely is thy face
To fade beneath the heat of noon

TO HELL WITH THEM!
LET'S GET 'EM 'SHROOMS!
EVERY NANNY! EVERY GROOM!
KILL THEM IN THEIR COUNCIL ROOMS!

A simple task to change these dolts
From royal to benign
To wander 'round the palace walls
And dream within the vines
You're looking a bit pale today
Your Majesty
Perhaps another bowl of soup
Or a nap under the trees

To Hell with them let's kill 'em 'shrooms
Every nanny every groom
Kill them in their council rooms

In the garden
Something's in the garden